a beating heart of stone
by FantasyDeath
Summary: During Iruka's first year teaching — on his own, because apparently there is a severe lack of teachers — he loses his curriculum, gets into a low-key fight with Shimura Danzo and accidentally creates an army. To be fair, none of this was planned. (AU, Slash)
1. Chapter 1

**a beating heart of stone**

 **Summary:** During Iruka's first year teaching — on his own, because apparently there is a severe lack of teachers — he loses his curriculum, gets into a low-key fight with Shimura Danzo and accidentally creates an army. To be fair, none of this was planned.

 **(WARNING! Slash, AU, BAMF-Iruka, Sporadic Updates)**

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

To be fair, Iruka actually had a solid plan going in.

At sixteen years old, Umino Iruka had just become a chuunin and decided that he wanted to pass on the Will of Fire to next generation. The best way to do this, he figured, was to become a teacher. So he contacted the Academy, took a bunch of tests to prove he was knowledgable and even had an interview with the Sandaime Hokage, all according to plan.

Then the first day of classes began and he lost his curriculum.

Now, Iruka did memorize it. Theoretically, he knew what he was supposed to teach. Theoretically, he had the knowledge to go with it. Theoretically, he could deal with thirty-one six-year-old kids staring at him with an unnerving focus. Sadly, this was all theoretical.

In actuality, there was a severe lack of teachers after the Kyuubi attack, which wasn't helped by the fact all able-bodied shinobi had to get out in the field or patrol to keep Konoha's reputation and safety up. There was also an unprecedented number of orphans in Konoha, because not only had the Kyuubi wrecked more than a quarter of the village, it had also squashed some smaller villages that got in the way. This meant that there were a lot of kids that had nowhere to go, and who's only real path was to become shinobi. It also meant that they couldn't read or write.

So not only was Iruka a completely new teacher, but he also had to go at it solo, without any help from his colleagues. And thus, in his panic to prepare, he lost the curriculum. He did not, unfortunately, notice this before the class began.

When the students began trickling into his corner classroom after the entrance ceremony where the Sandaime Hokage had held a very moving speech, Iruka was sitting at his desk, staring straight into the air and reevaluating all of his live choices. What made him think he could possibly teach a whole class of kids how to be ninja? It must have been temporary insanity. Unfortunately, he had made commitments and promises now and he couldn't go back on them.

The students, most of them wearing worn-out clothes that led him to the conclusion that they were secondhand, sat down behind the desks and looked out at Iruka with both admiration and distrust.

Iruka died a little inside.

Frowning, he attempted to get his heart-rate under control and picked up the paper with his list of students. He glared at it and spoke somewhat harshly, "We will now take roll call."

Thankfully, this process went by fine. All of the students were accounted for, so that was something. His class was full of orphans, civilians and a couple of kids from minor clans. The most important one was a member of a really far removed Hyuuga branch, but higher than so it didn't go. This lured him in to a false sense of security, which was promptly crushed when he discovered that he did not have his curriculum.

As he tried to locate it without looking like he was panicking and on the verge of screaming in frustration, he ruffled through his papers and glared at his desk. This accomplished nothing, and so he moved on. He could do this. He stood up and rounded his desk, standing in front of the blackboard.

He could not do this.

What was he supposed to be teaching again?

Ninja arts, yes, that's right. He knew this. He totally knew this.

He did not know this.

In a panic and knowing that he had been standing still at the front of classroom for a tense four minutes now, he carefully wrote out his name on the board. Then it occurred to him that they might not know kanji yet, and so he wrote it out in katakana and hiragana as well. Then he turned back to the class and stated, in a voice as sure as he could make it,

"My name is Umino Iruka. I'm your sensei."

Thirty-one tiny little brats stared back at him with a concentration so focused it honestly scared him a little. Were kids always like this? How come he didn't know this before?

"Uhm..." he started and then let the sentence fade when he realized he had no idea what to say. He knew he was supposed to start with teaching them the basics, but how basic were they talking about? And why did his colleagues have to stress the fact that he couldn't bother them today, because first impressions were important and they needed to establish their absolute authority _today_ or the kids wouldn't listen to them, which meant they had no time to help him?

Iruka had actually graduated from the Shinobi Academy, right? Then why couldn't he remember what he had learned there or what the classes were even about?

Ten more minutes passed, and the kids started fidgeting. They were frowning now and Iruka knew, even in the midst of his panicking, that he was about to lose control over them. And then he would be fired and forever banned from teaching, which would suck, because he _wanted_ to teach. He had just... forgotten how.

Iruka took a deep breath and did what he always did when he didn't know what was going on on missions. He diverted the attention to another subject. "Can everybody read what I wrote on the board?"

More then half the class shook their heads in avid _no's_.

This... could be a problem.

"Okay," Iruka began and this time he knew how to continue. He knew how to read and write. He could teach this. It had to be on the curriculum, right? "today we will be learning how to read."

The following few hours, up until the lunch bell rang, were spent drawing out the hiragana alphabet on the board and having them copy it in notebooks he gathered in a daze from a storage room. He also gave them all pens and then went between them to ensure they were all doing the copying correctly, drawing the lines in the correct order and keeping the ones unfamiliar with pens from pressing through the paper.

After the alphabet, he wrote each of their names on the board and tried to ignore the unsettling feeling of thirty-one kids paying him undivided attention. Why were they paying him so much attention, come to think of it? He had heard all of the other teachers complaining how the kids wouldn't listen to them, how they ignored them even. But these kids just sat still and copied down everything he told them to without a word. To be honest, Iruka was starting to worry he was doing something very wrong. Had he scared them in some way? He supposed he might have been a bit harsh, but that was just his nerves rearing their ugly heads.

Then again, the kids wouldn't know the difference, would they?

He frowned to himself and resolved to speak softer from now on.

During lunch, most of the class stayed in the classroom, together with Iruka. None of the orphans had brought with them anything to eat and while Iruka disapproved of this heavily, there wasn't really anything he could do about it. The orphanage had limited funds and were filled to overcapacity. They didn't have the money or time to spare on making bentos for the kids going to school.

Still, when lunch rolled around, the kids seemed to be getting livelier and less shy. They settled into a couple of different groups as they got to know each other and their interests. Iruka was still kind of panicking at the idea of teaching tiny children how to be shinobi, but he had calmed down a little. It was, at the very least, very heartwarming to see the kids reaching out to each other.

As lunch ended, he saw a change. They were fidgeting more and all of them had trouble concentrating when he attempted to go back to teaching them about hiragana.

This immediately set off his panic again, because what was he supposed to teach them if not reading? He knew stuff about this, he _knew_ that he did, but when he tried to think of it, he drew a complete blank. Could he even throw a kunai anymore?

Through the window, he caught sight of the empty training ground attached to his classroom. It was equipped with a training course, posts and a flat open space for taijustu, and when he saw it, his mind lit up with an absolutely brilliant idea. He didn't know what he was supposed to be teaching them, but there had to be _some_ physical training in the curriculum! He'd just get them started on that and when they lost their excess energy, he'd herd them back inside and continue the only lesson he could think of.

He cleared his throat. "Okay, kids, it's time for physical training now. Let's all go outside!"

The kids didn't cheer, but they definitely perked up. Apparently they really didn't want to sit still. Or they just wanted to learn cool ninja moves.

(Dear god, did he even know any cool ninja moves? Did he know any ninja moves at all?! How in the world did he managed to become a certified teacher?!)

Because Iruka was an idiot that was currently panicking, instead of leaving through the door like a sensible person, he opened one of the windows and jumped out straight into the training ground behind the school. There were actual _cheers_ and then he had to hurry out of the way when the rest of his class followed him.

He was a complete failure as a teacher.

Then there were thirty-one kids staring up at him with stars in their eyes and all he wanted was for the ground to split under him so he did not need to witness this. "Right." he said and cleared his throat needlessly. ""We'll start with stretching and then we'll go ten laps around the track to warm-up."

Weirdly, not one kid complained. Iruka knew that both he and his fellow students had certainly complained a lot, especially about the stretching.

"... Then let's get started."

The following half-hour was spent dragging all of the kids into the proper stretching forms, correcting them when they tried to do things differently or made mistakes. After he was finally satisfied that they wouldn't be pulling any muscles, he led them around the tracks in a fairly slow, even pace for ten laps.

The kids were all puffing and bent over after the ten laps were complete.

Some were even sitting on the ground, sweating and generally just looking absolutely miserable.

As Iruka had been doing the entire day — except when he was absorbed in teaching hiragana — he proceeded to quietly ad discreetly panic and wonder what he had done wrong. Then it hit him that he had probably just pushed them too hard to start with. It wasn't the end of the world. Unless they had broken or torn anything. They couldn't have, right? Right?

Yes, he absolutely sucked as a teacher. Obviously, he would need to start them off slow. He didn't know why he thought differently. He had probably gone too fast too. It was the curse of having been on the same genin team as Gai.

Nonetheless, he couldn't very well push them into more physical exercises in good conscience. This time, when he told them to stretch, they complained.

By the time the stretching was completed, they all looked so exhausted that he didn't have the heart to make them walk again. Instead, he settled crisscross on the ground and told them to crawl closer. He picked up a leaf and held it out over his forehead and then he let it go. It stayed put.

"This," he began. "is the leaf chakra control exercise. You will need to direct your chakra up to your forehead in order to get the leaf to stay put. The longer the better. Any questions?"

One of the orphan girls put up her hand in the air and once he pointed at her, she asked, "Can I only attach it to the forehead? And can it only be one leaf?"

Iruka shook his head and smiled. "No. You can attach it to any body part you want, but the forehead is generally where we begin. And you can use as many leaves as you want, but the difficulty will go up with each one. Anything else?"

Another kid — a boy — put his hand in the air. "What's chakra?"

Iruka actually felt his heart stop. They didn't know what chakra was? Did Iruka know? He did, right?! There was something about energy and, and, something else. He was so, so screwed. "It's the mixing of ones spiritual and physical energies, and when you guide it, you can use it. It's the thing that makes jutsus work. Concentrate and you should be able to feel it, sort of like a ball of warmth in the pit of your stomach. Make sure you don't try to use all of it at once, as that can be highly dangerous."

They nodded, and then they all tried the exercise. Iruka watched on, feeling both proud of them and ashamed of himself as he saw them try so genuinely. Here they were, doing the best they could, and Iruka had gone and screwed up. He had not only lost the curriculum, but he had utterly forgotten what he was supposed to teach them.

And imagine, he had actually been looking forwards to teaching.

Apparently playing around with chakra, which they described as the "funny warmth in their bellies" was a lot of fun and so they stayed outside for another hour before they ventured inside again to continue with the reading and writing class.

Eventually, the last bell rang at three in the afternoon and school was over for the day. In the vain knowledge that he was supposed to assign homework, he told them to keep working on the leaf exercise as long as it didn't make them feel bad. He got a lot of smiles in response and then they ran out of the classroom. Through the window. Because Iruka was a horrible teacher already spreading bad habits.

And then he was alone.

Putting his head in his hands, he leaned over his desk and tried to disappeared into nothing. He could still feel his heart beating like thunder in his chest and panic was still there. He had messed up, he knew he had.

What was he supposed to say during the parent-teacher meetings? What was he supposed to say to the Hokage? To the other teachers? Iruka had made a mess of his class, probably taught them all of the wrong things and the only thing left to do was to come clean. He couldn't keep being a teacher when he knew how much he had screwed up. As much as he loved it and as much as it was what he wanted to do, he had an obligation to his students, to give them the best education possible and he just couldn't provide that. No, he would come clean, he would apologize and hope that he wasn't punished too harshly for his failure.

It was the only thing he could do to fix this.

Taking a deep breath, he calmed down now that there was no trusting kid staring at him with too much faith. Iruka stood from his desk with determination and cleaned it mechanically. It was the right thing to do.

Once he had nothing left to delay time with, he exited his classroom and went to the Headmaster's office.

The headmaster of the Shinobi Academy was a grouchy old man, that had seen too many wars and come out the other side with too many injuries to keep being on active duty. To be honest, he had scared Iruka a little at first, before he had steeled his nerves and decided he had met scarier people out on the field on missions. Iruka knocked on his door and entered the room when the man inside told him to.

The first thing he saw was that the Headmaster was glaring at him. Iruka swallowed and steeled himself. He was here for a reason.

"I'm sorry to bother you Headmaster, but-"

"Then don't bother me!" he was interrupted by the Headmaster before he had a chance to get to the point.

Iruka furrowed his brows and said, "Sorry?"

"You should be sorry." the Headmaster snapped at him. "Do you have any idea how busy I am?! We're still two teachers short, so I've been filling in for them, ones about to go on maternity leave in a few months and we need to find a replacement, the Hokage changed the requirements for graduating again and so we need to find another year of study to fill, concerned parents keep bothering me about all of their silly little worries and the Hokage's advisors are on my ass to make sure everything goes smoothly and on top of all of that, the Hokage wants to change the curriculum again, now that we're at peace and make it _softer_ of all things. I do not have time or energy to deal with whatever mess it is you've gotten yourself into! Now leave!"

And then Iruka was standing outside of a locked door, wondering what he was supposed to do now.

His attempt to talk to the Hokage went the same way, he was prevented from even seeing him, as apparently, he wasn't important enough. All of his tries to approach his colleagues fell through, as all of them were frantically preparing for the next year of classes and so nobody even bothered to listen to him.

Iruka did not get another copy of the curriculum.

Hitting his head on the wall of his classroom, he felt a little bit like throwing up. This?

This was an unmitigated disaster.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The next morning, Iruka came prepared. He had read through the textbooks from his years at the academy and thought he had gotten a pretty good picture of what he was meant to teach. Then he realized that those textbooks weren't used anymore, because the Hokage had once more changed the curriculum and felt a little bit like throwing up (it was becoming a familiar sensation), but it was still a good place to start.

With the textbooks contents memorized, he arrived at his classroom a little more than an hour ahead of time. He took this opportunity to grab some more notebooks and pens, as well as erasers, from the storage room and repeatedly going through what he had read the night before.

It was half-an-hour before the school day was officially to begin that the students began trickling into his classroom. One after another, they crept in through the window, settling into their seats like tiny shadows. Pretty soon, they started talking amongst themselves and showing off their skills with the leaf chakra control exercise. More and more of them arrived and Iruka finally had to give up on his own studying in favor of keeping an eye on them.

Once they were all present, he stood up from his seat and took roll-call. With no absences, he announced, "We will be continuing our reading lessons for now."

The following hour went by fine, even if it took all of the control Iruka had to keep what he had memorized in his mind, until he decided that it was time for another lesson when they started looking bored. He cleared his throat and coughed to get their attention.

" ... "

Exactly _what_ had he memorized again? It had had to do with history and the shinobi rules. He had gone over it countless times in his head since classes began, so _why couldn't he remember it?!_

Blinking rapidly and trying to think of something to say before he lost all of his students respect, Iruka grasped desperately for something to teach them, some knowledge he must surely possess. There must be something! Come to think of it, what was his last mission about? There was an corrupt headman and a suffering village and Iruka had been there to deliver something? No, to sabotage. Right, he had been sabotaging the... windmill? Somehow that didn't sound quite right.

Thirty-one small children stared out at him with large eyes, all of them staring right at him. He could feel his breath coming faster, his heart thundering in his chest. This wasn't good. And he had made that promise to do _better_ until he could finally get an appointment with Hokage-sama and quit. It would be better for everyone. But, until then, he had a duty to perform.

He just had to remember what that duty was.

He turned to the blackboard, so he wouldn't have to look at those trusting faces. His very existence was letting them down. If he hadn't applied to this job, they would have gotten a proper teacher, someone that actually knew what they were doing. With his mind occupied, his hands were moving on their own, drawing something on the board. When he gathered his wits again, he stared at the flower that he had drawn with white chalk. A ricinus communis. Well, at least now he had something to say.

"This," he began and turned back to face his class. "is the Ricinus communis, the most poisonous flower in the world."

Immediately, he saw the students sit up straighter. Their attention was evidently caught.

Iruka smiled, pleased that he was finally able to pass on knowledge, the way he had wanted to when he had decided to become a teacher. "All parts of the plant are toxic, and its beans contain alkaloid ricin and toxalbumin ricin. A single milligram is enough to kill an adult."

Watching the students so enraptured, he couldn't resist drawing another plant on the board and continuing with, "Another poisonous plant is the Aconitum, of which there are over two hundred and fifty species, a traditional tool for killing wolves in the past, giving it the more popular name wolf's bane. In addition to this, we also have Nerium oleander, a highly toxic beautiful flower whose even sap is harmful. It contains numerous toxic compounds, and a single leaf is strong enough to kill a young human adult. It will kill animals within days of ingestion."

"Then we have Abrus precatorius, also known as the crab's eye, a plant which seeds are the most dangerous. The seeds contain abrin, an extremely poisonous chemical that causes damage by attacking the body at the cellular level. That is, a level that can't be seen with the naked eye. The rosary pea isn't dangerous if consumed whole, but if the seed is damaged or scratched, its deadly. There is also Conium maculatum, otherwise known as poison hemlock. It causes death mainly by the alkaloid coniine, that paralyzes the respiratory system, effectively killing the victim within days of consumption by oxygen deprivation. That is, they suffocate to death. It's a popular old assassination plant that has been used for centuries by shinobi."

Iruka was proud to see that most of the students were copying the drawings down in their notebooks, but they didn't have the skill necessary to take notes. Frowning in thought, he wrote the names of them in hiragana next to their pictures to help them along.

Still, despite how enraptured they were by the idea of poisoning people, they were still kids, and sitting still for too long made them fidget and pay less attention. Iruka called for a fifteen minute recess with a fervor when he noticed how many of them were tapping their pencils and looking out the windows periodically. With a cheer, the students rose form their seats, and exited through the already opened windows.

When they were all gone, Iruka put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. He couldn't _believe_ that he had made the same mistake again. Was he just not destined to be a teacher? Was there some divine force out there working against him?

Or was he just not good at it?

He breathed in deeply and opened his eyes again, this time with determination burning in his gut. He had, after filing a lot of papers, managed to get an appointment set up with the Hokage in eight months. That meant that he needed to do his best to teach his students during that time, no matter how poorly he did. He needed to give them a solid foundation to leave to his successor, who would undoubtedly do a better job. And if it was just foundation, surely Iruka could teach it. Surely, he knew this.

Iruka's forgetfulness, his panicking and his fumbling for things to teach had already proven that he just wasn't cut out for this, but the least he could do was teach the kids how to read and write. He owed it to them for his failure.

It wasn't _fair_ , that they were the ones being hurt by his incompetence, so he owed it to them to do his best, no matter how useless he privately thought it was.

He would teach them how to read and write, how to control their chakra and get their physical condition up the minimum requirements. It wouldn't be nearly enough to atone for his mistakes, but it would be a start. Until he could talk to the Hokage, it was the best he could do.

It would have to be.

The kids returned to the classroom once recess was over, dirtied from their playing and with rosy cheeks from laughter. It warmed his heart, that despite the injustices that had been served to them, they were still so innocent, so kind and happy. Iruka was determined that they not learn of his failure as a teacher. It would just be another disappointment of many for them, and he didn't want to do that to them.

They deserved so much better.

So Iruka was going to do his best during the next eight months to make sure that they didn't catch on to his mistakes and mishaps, and hopefully, they would learn _something_ useful.

No matter how insignificant, if he could just teach them _one_ helpful thing... well, it wouldn't fix anything, but it would help. And that was all he wanted, to help them achieve greatness, to teach them how to survive in the cutthroat world they were aiming to become a part of.

Once they were all seated once more, Iruka walked between them and dropped off pencils and notebooks. "These are for homework, to practice writing at home. Just repeat the characters, try writing names, anything you want as long as you practice. If you're unsure what to write, you can always ask for help."

The kids beamed at him, their tiny faces lighting up in pure delight.

How could homework make them this happy? Iruka had always hated it, he had done it and done it well yes, but he hadn't enjoyed it. Even after his... even after the Kyuubi's attack, he hadn't found anything nice about it. But these kids, they looked at him as if he had given them gifts, as if he had purposely lent them pieces of joy. How did that make any sense? How could kids so young equate homework with happiness?

Why did they _trust_ him so much, when he had done nothing but let them down?

Pushing away the despair he could feel closing in on him, he returned his focus to his class. The one useful thing he had managed to do and not forget since yesterday was copy a sheet of paper with all of the hiragana characters, which he now passed out to all of the students. He handed them out and pushed his worry away. He had reached out to all of the people he could and he would neither be getting a copy of the curriculum any time soon, nor be meeting with anybody that might be able to fire him from his wrongful position. He owed it to the village he loved and the kids whose education now depended upon him to do his very best. Better, even.

There was no room for regret. He would do everything he could to teach these kids how to survive, to give them a working foundation, and it would be up to his successor to fix any mistakes he made. Until such a time that he was relieved of his duty, this was his job.

As he watched the kids begin fidgeting yet again, he sighed and said, "Time for physical training outside."

The kids didn't hesitate to throw themselves through the windows. Shaking his head at their energy and feeling the urge to hit himself for his stupidity, he followed along outside and, once he had herded them all to one location, said, "Today, we will be learning how to fall safely. After, of course, that we have gotten warmed up. Start by stretching like I showed you yesterday and then run around the tracks for ten laps, at your own pace."

See, Iruka could learn from his mistakes. He just wasn't entirely sure what other mistakes he had made, because he _couldn't remember what he was supposed to teach them._ He had never had this problem on any missions or training. In fact, he usually had a pretty good memory, but somehow, the idea of actually standing up there and teaching just made his head go blank. All of the knowledge he had worked so hard to learn just flew away, as if he had never even known it. Yet, when he was home and away from the pressure, he could think again. He could remember what he was supposed to have done.

But as soon as he was back in the classroom and opening his mouth, it left him again. Was this how all teachers felt, or was it just him? Was there something wrong with him? You'd think that after killing people in their own homes, he would be able to actually talk and convey his knowledge to the next generation.

Once all of the kids had finished their laps — nowhere near as tired as yesterday — Iruka climbed up to a branch in a tree and fell in a properly controlled manner. He called up one of the students and began the arduous task of giving each one individual attention to make sure that they all did it right. The last thing he wanted to do was give them bad habits on top of everything else. Well, any _more_ bad habits, because it seemed like the window thing had really stuck. Now they looked at him funny any time he tried to mention it.

"Ami-chan," Iruka said as he repositioned a young girl on the ground. "I know you may want to fall straight to your feet because it looks cool, but without using chakra, you'll break your own bones landing. It's better to learn how to fall correctly without chakra before learning how to dampen it with chakra. That way, if you're ever low on chakra and on a mission, you can move without worrying about damaging yourself, okay?"

The little girl nodded with an adorably stubborn face, her unremarkable brown hair swinging with the motion, as she chirped, "Okay, Iruka-sensei!"

Iruka smiled at her and ruffled her hair gently. "Good. Don't hesitate to ask me if there is something you need help with or are unsure about, 'kay?"

She nodded again, even more viciously this time, and climbed up to a low branch to try again. Iruka couldn't resist smiling. They were really so adorable, it was hard to imagine they would grow up and kill people for a living. Seeing something out of the corner of his eye, Iruka turned abruptly and barked out, "Don't you dare jump from that branch, Kaito-kun!"

The boy, over three meters up in a tree, visibly pouted and whined, "But Iruka-sensei, I already mas-mastered the lower branches!"

"That doesn't mean you can do what you like! The point is to fall so many times it becomes a reflex! Now get down from there!" Iruka realized his mistake a second too late, and the boy jumped from the tree with a loud yell.

Automatically pushing chakra through his legs, and with adrenaline coursing though his veins, he took off from the ground faster then otherwise possible and only just managed to catch the boy before he landed on his face and broke something, probably his neck. Huffing at the unexpected workout, Iruka settled the boy down to his feet and bent down to look him in the eyes. By now, the other kids had surrounded them.

"Don't _do_ that!" Iruka snapped at the boy, his hands still on his shoulders. "Do you know what would have happened?! You'd have broken your neck, and best case scenario, be completely paralyzed! You could have died! Not even a medic-non can fix that!"

The boy's lower lip began trembling, and tears filled the corner of his eyes. He sniffled once and then started full on crying, his sobs shaking his tiny frame. "I-I'm so-sorry!"

Iruka felt his heart break at seeing such a sad vision. "It's alright now, Kaito-kun. Nothing happened and you won't do it again, right?"

The boy nodded, still crying and Iruka sighed, but hugged him regardless. He'd forgotten for a moment, but these were kids, likely too young to remember the Kyuubi's attack. They would have to learn caution in this, as they learned caution in everything. And it was Iruka's job to teach them.

"Kaito-kun, I'm not mad at you. I'm just worried. What you did was a very dangerous and reckless thing and you can't do anything like it unless I'm right there with you, understand?"

The boy nodded against his shoulder, which was now wet with his tears and snot. "Truly? Do you promise?"

"I-I pro-promise." the boy sniffled out and coughed against him. It was lucky that Iruka had long ago been desensitized of human fluids or he would have likely found it disgusting. As it was, he was just a little bit annoyed that he would have to wash it.

Smiling, Iruka leaned back from the boy and wiped his face with a convenient cloth. When Kaito's face was clean and he had finally stopped crying, Iruka stood up and looked out at the army of tiny children that had gathered around them. "Everything's fine now." he smiled at them and ruffled a few of the kids hair, those that looked the most unsure. "You can go back to practicing now. I promise everything is alright."

The kids lingered a few more seconds with him before they started smiling again and went back to climbing trees. It was amazing, how resilient children were.

Iruka spent the rest of the lesson outside catching several kids when they fell wrong to stop them from breaking bones. He had gotten way more exercise out of it then he thought he would, having to dash from one side of the training grounds to the other within seconds. Nevertheless, eventually, he deemed that they had all grasped the basics and herded them back inside after stretches to get back to reading and writing practice.

The rest of the day went by quietly and it had had the added bonus of increasing his confidence. Maybe he couldn't teach them what the curriculum said he should, but he could still give them valuable knowledge. He wondered if maybe he could sneak math into the physical exercises? It was a thought that bore worth considering.

As the final bell rang, Iruka called out, "Remember to practice your writing! You can copy signs written in hiragana if you don't know what to write. Continue practicing the leaf chakra control exercise until you're confident you have it mastered, and then show me. Once you all know it inside and out, we'll advance to a more fun chakra exercise."

The kids shouted confirmation back at him and waved as they left through the windows. Desperate to _try_ to be a good teacher, Iruka called out, "Ask me if you're wondering about anything! Anything at all!"

He got happy smiles in response and once they were out the windows — not doors, _oh god why?_ — they separated into groups and talked excitedly amongst themselves. It eased his conscience to know that, if nothing else, they were making friends and learning a basic skill such as writing.

It would at least help them with finding another job if they didn't manage to graduate and become shinobi.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Okay, now who can read this word?"

Out of the many kids sitting gathered in the classroom, only four of them put their hands up in the air. Iruka let his gaze slide over all of them before he picked one and called out, "Mio-chan?"

The girl, with sand-colored hair and dark eyes of indeterminable color, sat up straighter in her chair and answered, "Blue!"

Iruka smiled at her and nodded at her with pride, "Good work, Mio-chan! I can tell you've been doing your homework."

After a full week of teaching, Iruka liked to think that he had gotten used to it. He still didn't know what he was actually _supposed_ to be teaching, because his fellow teachers were always running around after kids in a panic, unable to spare him even a second of their time, but he had gotten a good routine going where he taught the basics. He was even thinking of starting them on maths once they had a decent grasp of reading if he had enough time for it.

It helped that, despite his initial doubts, his students were all kind, good kids that _wanted_ to learn. They soaked up everything he taught them frighteningly fast.

Writing another word on the backboard, Iruka turned back to his class and asked, "And this word?"

This time, almost ten students put their hands up in the air. Iruka pointed at one and asked, "Kazuki-kun?"

"Green." the boy beamed at Iruka when he praised him for his good work, and Iruka felt a burst of pride swell in his chest. They were all dedicated students and hard workers. Yet, that just made it all worse, how much of a failure he was.

"Alright." Iruka said and grabbed a pile of paper he had had stacked on his desk since classes began for the day. He walked between the desks and gave everyone a copy. "This is your homework for next week. I want all you to practice writing the colors in your notebooks. If your notebook is full, just tell me and I'll get you a new one."

The kids nodded at him and were beaming at each other.

Smiling softly at the happy picture the children made, Iruka glanced up at the clock when he heard the final bell ring and announced, "That's it for today! Classes begins again on Monday at eight o'clock! Don't be late."

With that, his first week of teaching was officially over.

Breathing out in relief, Iruka sat down on his chair and just rested. At least nobody had died or gotten seriously injured. That was always a plus.

He heard the soft footsteps of a child coming closer to him — reminding him of another thing he should teach them, how to walk without making a sound — and he opened his eyes and sat up straighter. The child in front of him was fidgeting with her hands and looking down at the floor in an obvious sign of being shy. Iruka dragged himself out of his downward spiraling thoughts and leaned forwards so he could see her clearer next to his desk. "Do you need any help?"

The girl nodded. Iruka couldn't rests ruffling her long black hair when she was looking so adorable. "With what?"

"Chi-Chiyo-chan mast-mastered the leaf, the leaf exerc-exercise."

Standing up from his chair and then squatting down until he was at her height, Iruka couldn't stop himself from smiling at her stammering. "Did you now? Would you like to show me?"

She nodded and brought out two leaves. Still staring determinedly at the wooden floor, she dragged her hands away from each other and the leaves stayed stubbornly put, one under each hand. Iruka beamed at her when she sneaked a peak at her, cooing internally at the blush that went all the way up to her ears. "That's amazing, Chiyo-chan! You learned that in a week on your own?"

"Ami-chan hel-helped." she whispered to him in a low tone.

Iruka ruffled her hair gently again and said, "That's very nice of her. Did you say thank you?"

The girl nodded, her hair flying with the motion.

"You know, if she helped you, you should help her in return if there is something she doesn't know." Iruka grabbed the girl under her arms and settled her down on his hip without hesitating. "Now let's go find your family, ne?"

"Tha-thank you, Iruka-sensei." she hid her face in his shoulder as he carried her outside to the front of the academy, where her mother was, as expected, waiting for her with a worried look on her face.

Iruka walked across the grounds until he stopped right next to her and sat the girl back down on her feet. "Here you go, Takaba-san. She just wanted to show me something."

The young woman, with hair as black as her daughter's, smiled at him. "Thank you, Umino-sensei. I was getting concerned."

"No problem. Have a good weekend." Iruka waved at the girl as she left, her hand in her mother's.

The Takaba were a normal civilian family and to the best of his knowledge, their daughter would be the first ninja of the family if she graduated. It meant that the family had some wrongful perception of what being a ninja was like, but as long as it didn't damage Chiyo-chan's education, he wouldn't interfere. Clearing up the mistakes would most likely make them withdraw their daughter from the academy, and even years after the Kyuubi's attack, they still needed to bulk up their shinobi forces.

Returning to his classroom, Iruka settled down by his desk and took out the paper he had been fiddling with for a whole day now. It was to be the class schedule during the time he was their teacher. After some time, he had decided to make every other class physical training so they would tire themselves out enough to pay attention in the classes indoors.

Staring at the schedule, physical proof that he would actually be a teacher — it even had his name in the upper left corner! — Iruka felt his many doubts returning. But no, he had tried to appeal to anybody that had any authority over the academy and they had all been dead ends. Everybody was either busy with revising the new curriculum or they were occupied with other things. Regardless, they had no time left over for him and his concerns.

Copying the finished product on a new piece of paper, Iruka grabbed it and wandered off to the copier in the teachers lounge.

The lounge was at the top of the academy, a safe-zone that no child or parent was allowed to enter. All of the entrances were even trap-wired.

At this moment when Iruka entered — not that he had spent much time there, busy panicking at home as he was — there were only two other teachers present. Both of them were over twice his age and both of them were women. One of them, Suzume-sensei who had been his old teacher once upon a time, was a stern lady that didn't have any patience for dillydallying and the other one was a woman he had never met before, only seen around from time to time. Iruka nodded at them in greeting, and Suzume-sensei nodded back, even spared him a small smile.

He got a bad feeling.

Suzume-sensei never smiled and certainly not at _him_. During his academy days, he had been a nightmare, constantly pranking people and skipping classes. He liked to believe that he had mellowed out, was a better person now, but he doubted his old teacher would look at it the same way.

He moved over to the copier at the back of the room and set it to make thirty-one copies. Behind him, he could feel the sensation of Suzume-sensei staring at him, a very familiar feeling that spelled nothing but trouble for him. Suzume-sensei was _creative_ in her punishments. They weren't just detentions or cleaning up, no, she demanded the best of her students. If he wanted to prank her, he damn well better do it the way a shinobi would.

"Iruka-sensei." Suzume-sensei voice made him jump where he stood and he cringed at how obvious a reaction it was. She continued, "How are your lessons going?"

He was having flashbacks to his days as a student. "Well. They're going very well."

"Hmm." he could hear the suspicion in her voice. "I heard you tried to get a meeting with the Hokage about your job. Is there anything you are dissatisfied with?"

"No. Everything is fine." Iruka hurried to reassure her. He wondered who had spilled the beans to her, and what she was thinking, but it wasn't really a mystery. Shinobi gossiped like old married ladies.

"Look at me." Suzume-sensei demanded and Iruka could do nothing but obey that tone.

He turned around to face her.

"Good." she rose a white eyebrow. "Now tell me what the problem is."

Iruka sagged a little where he stood and he went over to sit on one of the sofas near her. "I just keep... panicking. I don't know why."

Her mouth barely moved, but he got the feeling she was laughing at him. "Well that, unfortunately, I can't help you with. All teachers go through it. All it takes is practice and sticking with it, and there will come a day when you won't panic. It'll be a shock, I'll tell you, but you won't panic."

"Did you ever panic, Suzume-sensei?"

"Me?" now the old woman actually did laugh, a rough sound that made the hairs at the back of his neck stand on end. "No, I've never panicked a day in my life. I'm a kunoichi, child. We don't panic."

The other woman, younger then Suzume-sensei but still older than him, nodded in agreement and added, "True that. Unlike shinobi, we have nerves of steel. How else could we go through labor?"

Iruka had the feeling that they were in a dangerous territory and so only nodded in agreement without saying anything.

The copier pinged to let him know that it was finished, and he gladly took the chance it gave him to get away from what he had feeling would soon be bloodbath if he said a single wrong word. Rising from his seat, he nodded to the two kunoichi's and strode over to the back of the room, where he quickly collected all of the paper. With the pile in his hands, he nodded once more to the women in goodbye and then hurried out of the room. That was _dangerous_.

Iruka still remembered that one time Suzume-sensei almost killed one of her student's father for insulting her. Three other ninja had had to interfere to remove her and save the guy's life, miserable as it was for the rest of his lifetime.

Poor guy.

He was still completely paralyzed.

Hurrying for the safety of his home, Iruka forewent going back to his classroom and instead hurried outside. His arms were still carrying all of the papers he had copied.

Despite the fact that it was afternoon and the evening was rapidly approaching, the heat was still shining down on Konoha from up above. With summer so close, it wasn't strange to see steam rising from the ground where the sun had unlimited access. Iruka walked the streets of Konoha with no hesitation in his steps, knowing the village as well as the back of his hand. He turned corners and walked in-between houses in shortcuts and smiled and greeted the familiar vendors once he reached the marketplace. Once there, he turned off into a side-street and wandered in the direction of his home.

At home, he dropped off his papers and then he set off, this time to a training ground. As his career as a teacher had already died a truly miserable death, he needed to stay in shape for when he got back on active missions duty. If it was needed, he was still allowed to take missions now, but he didn't have to because as a teacher he had a fixed salary. Not as much as he could make on active missions, but better then nothing.

And Iruka was no waster, he saved every ryou he could and he had his family's savings too, so he wasn't exactly hurting for money.

But still, it was always better to be safe than sorry.

Iruka jogged through the streets at a decent speed to get his blood pumping and as a warm up. When he finally arrived at the high fence that separated the training grounds from the rest of Konoha, Iruka settled down to do his stretches. As annoying as they were, they needed to be completed.

The Forty-Fourth Training Ground was divided from the rest of the village by a large fence that had many warning signs stuck on it. Despite this, it was one of his favorite places to train, just because of what a challenge it was. If you didn't push past your limits, you wouldn't improve. Iruka had never been able to understand why more shinobi didn't train there. Sure, the animals were mutated into vicious, bloodthirsty creatures at least three times their original size and nearly all of the fauna was poisonous in some way, but that just gave it character.

Regardless, the fact that they avoided it just meant that nobody interfered with his training. Well, nobody but Anko, but she was a good training partner when they were there at the same time. Sometimes they fought together to improve their teamwork and sometimes they fought against each other.

When he was finished with his stretches, Iruka pushed up from the ground in a giant leap and climbed over the fence with the ease of someone who was well used to it. Once on the other side, he set off into the forest to train.

Four hours later, and Iruka was absolutely exhausted.

It felt like his bones was about to break under his weight, and his legs were so heavy that stones _must_ be chained to them. Sighing where he laid on the ground just outside of the aptly named Forest of Death, he stared up at the evening sky. He might have gotten a little overzealous once he entered the training grounds and maybe he shouldn't have pissed off that tiger and he probably shouldn't have the bear, and ok, maybe he shouldn't have tried to burn down that carnivorous tree, it was... probably a mistake. But he felt so much better now. So much more clearheaded.

He had been panicking for a week straight now, regretting and drowning in his own remorse. He _needed_ this. He needed to go all out, to tire himself out until he had no energy left to think of those things. Already, he felt so much better.

He wasn't going to doubt himself anymore. He had eight months to make up for his mistakes and he was going to do his best. No more thinking of what-ifs, no more wondering how things would be if he actually knew what he was supposed to be teaching them. No more agonizing over his mistakes. Iruka was going to be the best teacher he could be for the next eight months and if that didn't even measure up to someone else's definition of _good_ , that was okay.

After he was fired or he managed to quit, the kids would get a proper teacher that would surely know how to fix his mess. He would apologize to them and their parents and soon enough, he would be running around on missions again. Eventually, his failure would be forgotten in the face of some other gossip.

He just hoped that the kids in his class would be able to forgive him when they found out the depth of stupidity.

Grunting at the pain of his thoroughly abused muscles, Iruka pushed himself until he was sitting up, and then he began the arduous task of standing. Once he was back on his feet, he drank some water from the flask that was stored in one of the storage scrolls always on his person and began the long journey home. He jumped up onto the rooftops and walked home that way, even if he almost lost his footing half-a-dozen times due to his exhaustion.

At home, he liberated himself from his clothes and took a long back in warm water, that eased the strain on his muscles. Iruka leaned his head on the edge of the tub and breathed out calmly, his gaze fixated on the white ceiling.

"Well," his voice echoed in the otherwise empty bathroom, steam rising from the tub. "this is it, I suppose."

If Iruka was failing, he would be doing so in the best way possible, as Suzume-sensei had repeatedly taught him. There was no time for doubt when you were responsible for thirty-one kids safety. He had made a mistake, yes, and now it was his duty to make the best of a bad situation.

He wanted to be a teacher, it was a dream he had had for some time now, and he wasn't going to squander what would undoubtedly be his only opportunity once the brass figured out just how much he had screwed up. He couldn't fix this, not entirely, but he could make sure that it wasn't time wasted. He could leave those kids with a working base, a base that they could then build upon together with a better teacher. Someone that would be worthy of their gratefulness.

The vast majority of his class was made up of orphans, a base would get them a head start over the rest of their peers at the orphanage if they didn't have what it took to be shinobi. It would let them get jobs, apprenticeships, even give them the tools necessary to leave Konoha if they wanted to try their luck elsewhere.

Iruka closed his eyes, rose his fist up in the air, and his voice echoed once more as he said to himself,

"You can do it, Iruka-sensei."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

A loud splash drew his attention away from one of his students trying to climb a tree without using hands, to the other side of the slow river. Before he could run over in his worry, a thoroughly soaked head emerged from the water and took a large gulp of air.

"I fell in again, Iruka-sensei!" Kaito gleefully announced to the world at large, his voice almost echoing.

Iruka sighed and answered, "I see that, Kaito-kun!"

Two months into his career as a teacher, and the chakra control exercises had proved to be unexpectedly popular. Apparently, the idea of walking up walls, on water and on top of rooftops was really cool, and the kids had all worked hard to learn it. It helped that as children, they had less chakra, which translated to an easier time learning to control it. This was the reason why they were by one of the rivers in Konoha, some of the kids practicing water-walking, some tree-walking and others learning how to swim in the shallow end.

It had only taken Iruka a few weeks to figure out that teaching them outside of the training grounds like this was much easier if he made clones, as even the illusion of supervision made them behave better.

Otherwise, they would be running wild as soon as he took his eyes off of them.

Another splash signified that another of his students had fallen into the water. Luckily, they had all brought a change of clothing with them, so they wouldn't be getting sick later. A few civilian parents had asked him why they didn't practice with bathing clothes, and had only barely accepted his reason that nobody wore those on missions and so it was better to practice in regular attire.

Iruka stared up at the tree-tops and determined that class would be over in about half-an-hour. He whistled and watched as the many pairs of eyes were redirected toward him. "Half-an-hour left now!"

The kids _aww'd_ and gave him begging looks, but Iruka was not about to lengthen the class for them.

The last time he did that, the Headmaster was furious with him and threatened to place him in charge of detention.

Iruka did not want to be saddled with even more kids, especially ones that he didn't know.

The rest of the class went by fine, even if he had to run to catch four kids that had climbed too far on the trees before they fell down. Iruka dismissed his clones when he felt the time was right and whistled once more. "Get out of the water and change your clothes!"

Fifteen kids soared out of the water like a tidal-wave of doom, cheering and speaking excitedly with each other.

"Iruka-sensei, Iruka-sensei!" one of the kids called out.

He turned to them and rose an eyebrow. "Yes, Ami-chan?"

Ami was coming running at him, holding hands with Chiyo and smiling at him, her eyes practically sparkling. She was dragging the blushing girl behind her, though Chiyo didn't look to be resisting much. "Chiyo-chan managed to stay on the water the whole time! Isn't she _amazing_?!"

As Ami beamed at him, he could see the gap from where she had lost a tooth. Iruka smiled at them both and leaned down to ruffle both's of their hair. "Congratulations!"

Chiyo's blush darkened further and she ducked her head until he couldn't see her face. Iruka ruffled her hair once more, unable to resist when she was so adorable. "You did very well, Chiyo-chan. I'm proud of you."

She let out a _peep_ and promptly hid behind Ami.

Iruka smiled at them again and then abruptly turned and caught the boy that had thrown himself at him. Kaito stared up at him with rosy cheeks and wet hair, hanging onto to Iruka's waist like a limpet. He announced, "I caught you, Iruka-sensei!"

"You sure did." Iruka rose an eyebrow and grabbed ahold of Kaito, swinging him around until he was hanging upside down in the air, all that held him up Iruka's hands on his ankles. The boy laughed, evidently finding this absolutely hilarious.

Iruka did not understand children.

"Down you go." Iruka said, and dropped the boy from over a meter in the air. Kaito twisted as he had been taught, rolling on the ground in a properly controlled landing.

The boy popped up on the other side with an exaggerated pose, to the cheering of his audience.

Iruka couldn't quite resist laughing, and he shook his head in exasperation. Really, the boy had come so far out of his shell, he seemed to have forgotten such a thing even existed. He also gave him regular heart-attacks, with his utter lack of fear and his determination to be the best possible ninja there had even been, going so far as to perform dangerous tricks all the time, to the laughter of his classmates. It was wonderful to see the kids, even those from different backgrounds, getting along so well, but Iruka thought it would probably give him grey hair by the time he managed to quit at this rate.

Still, they were so adorable and kind, he could never stay mad at them.

"Okay, okay," Iruka called out, getting their attention frighteningly fast. "you all know the way back to the academy from here, right?"

At seeing the many nods, he breathed out in relief and continued, "Then let's all go back now. If you want, you can take this opportunity to practice walking silently."

Again, there were loud cheers and then the kids started running, their footsteps thundering on the ground. When it came to walking, running and generally just moving around without a sound, they still had a lot to learn.

The kids hurried back to the academy to get their things, as they were left behind in classroom before they went on this little excursion. Iruka hadn't wanted to risk their things getting trampled on or destroyed by the water, when most of them didn't have a lot to begin with. Following after them, he made sure all of them went the right way, and observed as they tried to be as silent as possible, sometimes to hilarious degrees.

Some of them were tiptoeing around and walking slowly, as if they were on a tightrope, in order to try to make as little sound as possible. Predictably, it was not going well. Iruka would have to have more lessons on the subject, as it was another thing that had immediately caught the kids attention.

They now thought that in order to be proper shinobi, they _had_ to be able to move without making a single noise.

At least he had managed to avoid any tears from them by assuring them that they had years to master it.

Not many people gave them odd looks as they raced through the village — it _was_ a ninja village — and they made good time back. The kids didn't use the proper entrance to the academy, but climbed over the wall and then rushed into the classroom through the still open windows. Iruka had ceased bothering to close them, when he already knew there was just going to be a lot of begging eyes on the other side that he wouldn't be able to resist.

In the classroom, they grabbed their stuff and congregated into groups, running around each other and laughing as they played some game.

Iruka followed into the classroom after them, settling into his chair behind his desk as they spent several minutes playing — at least, the ones that didn't have to hurry home immediately — before they started to leave, still using the windows as if they were doors. After all of the practice, they had gotten much, much better at it. They had the movement of jumping out the window and landing safely on the other side down to an art form.

With them gone, the classroom was left in eerie silence. As much as he was still panicking every time he had to open his mouth in front of the blackboard, he had gotten used to their presence in the room. It felt a little empty without them.

He sighed, and grabbed the pile of tests they had done first thing in the morning, testing their reading and writing skills. At this point, they had hiragana and katakana memorized and he was wondering when he should start them on kanji. From the tests results, he thought he should probably wait a few more months, make sure that the alphabets they had already learned actually stuck in their heads before he ambushed them with even more.

It didn't take him long to correct all of the tests, as it wasn't a very long or complicated one, and by the time Iruka was done, he stretched his back and cracked his neck, stiff from sitting still. He put the tests into one of the drawers under the desk and rose from his seat with relief. Another day had gone by, and the kids were still alive and in one piece. He counted that as a win.

Hungry after all of that exercise, Iruka left the academy through the proper doors.

He made his way to Ichiraku Ramen, finding himself craving his favorite food.

He yawned as he walked through the streets, covering his mouth as he superstitiously looked around for anything interesting happening. He walked through some side streets, and traveled through the market place, finally arriving at the point where he could smell that tempting scent.

Iruka ducked below the curtain's to the stall and smiled out of reflex when he saw Teuchi-san behind the counter.

"Iruka-kun!" Teuchi-san beamed at him and asked, "Miso ramen again?"

Iruka scratched the back of his neck as he laughed a little stiffly. Apparently he was predictable, which was never a good thing for a shinobi. "Yes, thank you, Teuchi-san."

"No problem, no problem. Sit down!" Teuchi-san moved around the small kitchen and under Iruka's fascinated eyes, made the ramen just the way that he liked it. "Here!" Teach-san set it down in front of Iruka on the counter and beamed at him again.

Smiling, Iruka dug into it immediately, feeling his mouth water at the heavenly smell.

"Thank you!" he said as he picked up the chopsticks.

As he swallowed it down, he found that he was hungrier than he thought, eating the entire bowl in a matter of minutes. As he finished up, he swallowed down the last bit of soup and sighed in satisfaction. Like always, Teuchi was a genius, making it just the that he liked it.

"Another bowl, please!"

Teuchi beamed at him and handed another one over the next second, evidently having expected it. Iruka smiled gratefully at him.

As he finished up with this one and felt his stomach become full, Teuchi asked, "How are your classes going? Any troublesome kids?"

"Nooo." Iruka pushed away the bowl and put his face on his hands, sounding absolutely miserable. "They're amazing, Teuchi-san!'

"Then why do you sound so sad?"

"Because I'm a horrible teacher! I'm going to ruin any chance they have of becoming competent shinobi!" Iruka's head plopped down on the counter with a _thud_ and he groaned in despair. He felt Teuchi pat his shoulder, but still he kept his head down.

"There, there." Teuchi said and insisted, "I'm sure that's just your nerves talking. Don't be so hard on yourself, Iruka-kun."

Iruka smiled at Teuchi without responding.

A hush settled over the stall, before furious mutterings rose around them. Iruka lifted his head and tried to see what the big deal was. There, peeking in around the stalls corner, only his head and adorable bright blue eyes visible, Uzumaki Naruto stared in at them. The boy was tiny (even for his age), with dirt on his cheeks and a curious glow in his eyes.

As Iruka watched, the boy crept in further, until he could see the orange jumpsuit, stained with dirt and dried blood. The boy glared around at everyone that said anything bad about him, and suddenly he was running across the floor on short legs.

He scaled the chair next to Iruka (the only other unoccupied one) like a monkey, swinging himself up until his head stared over the counter.

Iruka felt his heart thudding in his chest, adrenaline coursing through his veins. It was irrational, and it was stupid of him, but he couldn't help but think of the Kyuubi when he saw this tiny boy, who was even younger then his students. He looked innocent and as Teuchi handed over a bowl of ramen without even asking anything, hr beamed like an ordinary child.

But he wasn't. He had the Kyuubi (the beast that killed Iruka's parents) sealed in him.

Iruka was good enough at sealing to know that the boy wasn't the Kyuubi, but it was a small comfort. Because the Kyuubi was an ancient monster made up of pure chakra. How could a little boy ever manage to supress it?

Even as Naruto gulped down his ramen like he was starving, Iruka found himself unconciously leaning away. It wasn't fair to the boy who so clearly was the Yondaime's son, but he couldn't help it. Fear was never rational, never logical. It was never fair.

He saw the moment that Naruot noticied what he was doing, because the boy twitched and curled his arm protectively around his bowl of ramen. As if he was afraird that Iruka would do something to it.

As if Iruka was heartless enough to take it away.

He tried to smile at the boy. From the way the suspicion in those clear eyes only increased, he guessed that he wasn't doing a very good job of it.

"Well!" Iruka said and focused all of his attention on Teuchi. "I have papers to grade, so I better get going."

He put down a few bills on the counter without counting them and stood up to leave, as so many others in the stall had already done. He felt a little sick when he realized that he wasn't a good enough person to stay in the presence of someone who was only a young innocent boy.

He should be better than this.

He was a _teacher_ , for heaven's sake.

With self-hatred curling in his stomach, he attempted to smile at Teuchi before he left. The fact that Teuchi looked just as disappointed in him as he himself was only made him feel worse.

A tug on his pants stopped him.

Iruka looked down, his bewildered eyes meeting the Naruto's curious ones.

"You're a _teacher_? A ninja teacher?"

Naruto sounded inquisitive, as if he had entirely forgotten his earlier suspicion. Iruka found himself staring down at a pair of giant eyes, pleading with him. For what, he didn't know.

"Yes." he said, more harshly than he intended.

The boy's grip on his pants tightened. "Can you teach me a cool ninja move? I want to set things on fire! And walk on walls!"

"I..." he found himself staring at an entirely unsympathetic Teuchi, who pretended that he didn't see anything. Iruka gulped and found himself saying, "I can teach you to walk on walls? If you want?"

"Really? You really, really, _really_ will? You have to promise! You can't go back on a promise! Promise me!" Naruto bounced on his feet, his volume getting louder the more excited he got. Iruka watched as the boy almost jumped up and down in glee, the only thing keeping him from flying off gravity.

He found himself saying, "I promise." before his brain caught up with his mouth.

This time, Naruto actually jumped in joy.

Iruka frowned, but he couldn't get out of it _now_. He had just promised, and he didn't want to be a person that would break them a minute later for no reason but irrational fear. He was a ninja, he had killed people and ruined their lives. He was no better tahan the Kyuubi.

Yet, there was a part him that _wanted_ to see the boy as a montser, as the demon that had killed his parents. Because it would be easier than accepting the fact that they didn't run.

They had him, a son, and yet they hadn't run. They had stayed and sacrificed their lives, leaving him all alone.

Blaming their deaths on the Kyuubi was easier than blaming it on their loyalty.

"Come, come!" Naruto called as he gripped his hand and started dragging him.

Iruka found himself following entirely on reflex, used to this by now thanks to his class. With Naruto leading the way, they left the legendary ramen stall behind them and ended up back on the streets.

The reaction was immediate.

People whispered and pointed, calling Naruto names a child his age shouldn't know. Yet, Naruto's look of exceitment didn't fade. The only difference was how tight his grip became, as if he was trying to make sure that Iruka didn't run away.

Iruka felt distaste well up in his belly, quickly followed by disgust in himself, because he wasn't any better. Even with the boy's fragile hand in his, he couldn't bear to look at him for too long.

Naruto beamed up at him, utterly oblivious to Iruka's thoughts. "I'll take you to my favorite park!"

Iruka would make him a wall-walking champion. It was the least he could do.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Naruto bounced on his toes the entire way to the park, glee filling him at the thought of learning _ninja_ things. He skipped in his steps, periodically looking up to make sure that Iruka-sensei was still there. Even though they held hands, Naruto still couldn't believe it.

He was going to learn ninja moves! Ninja moves!

He grinned brightly up at sensei (Iruka-sensei was a _real_ sensei!) as his grip around the man's fingers tightened.

"Naruto-kun," Iruka-sensei said and Naruto immediately stared straight at him. Sensei was using his name! Not calling him a demon or a monster, but using his actual name! Naruto almost couldn't stand the ball of warmth that was quickly forming in his stomach, excitement filling him so much that he was surprised he didn't explode from it. Sensei grimaced slightly down at him, but Naruto was too happy to care. "Do you know how to mold chakra?"

Naruto blinked up at him. He thought about it for two seconds and then shook his head wildly. "Nope!" he declared and grinned again.

Sensei was speaking with him! And asking questions! And listening to him talk!

Iruka-sensei was the _best!_

"Well, then we'll... start there, I suppose." Sensei slowly sat down on the ground, his legs crossed in front of him. He looked at Naruto for a few seconds (Naruto counted to eleven, because Naruto had recently learned to count, and now he was counting _everything_ like Hokage-jiji told him to!) before he beckoned Naruto over. Naruto hurried to sit down across from sensei before sensei could change his mind.

Sensei frowned at him, "Do you know what chakra is?"

"Nope!" Naruto bounced on his seat and his eyes flitted over everything around him. They weren't just going to talk, right? Talking was boring! ...But it was okay if he could learn ninja moves. "What's chakara?"

" _Chakra_ , Naruto-kun, not chakara."

"Right, that."

Iruka-sensei sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Naruto had seen other people to that before, but never in regards to him. He stared at it, fascinated. "Naruto-kun. Chakra is the combination of physical and spiritual energy, which you mold with hand-seals and your chakra network and with it, you can do ninjutsu."

With sparkling eyes, Naruto stared at sensei. "I want to use chakra!"

It would be _so cool!_

Sensei shook his head, but he didn't call Naruto any mean names, so Naruto knew that he wasn't _really_ mad. A bird was flying in the sky right above him and for a second Naruto was distracted, but he quickly turned his focus back to Iruka-sensei. Hokage-jiji always told him that he didn't have time when Naruto wanted to learn ninja moves — which was so unfair, he _never_ had time. Sensei probably wouldn't want to teach him anymore, once he found out that Naruto was a demon (Hokage-jiji always said that he wasn't, but everybody else said he was, so Naruto just ended up confused) so Naruto had to pay attention and learn everything he could now!

Iruka-sensei held up his hands in front of him, and a leaf that had been floating by in the air was quickly stuck to it. Then sensei started waving his hand through the air, the leaf never once falling off, even when it was under his hand and not attached to anything. Naruto couldn't stop himself — didn't even try — from standing up and running over and grabbing the leaf. No matter how hard he pulled, it wouldn't get more then a fingertips distance from sensei's hand.

"Woah..." Naruto stopped pulling and dazedly looked at the leaf, just sitting in the air, unmoved by the wind.

Then he bent down, picked up a leaf from the ground and held it out in his hand.

When he turned his hand around so that his palm faced the grassy ground, it promptly fell off, gently swaying its way back down to the earth. Naruto blinked at it, confused why it hadn't worked. He bit his bottom lip and turned his head to ask sensei.

"You have to use chakra." sensei said and picked up another leaf. He was bent down on his knees in front of Naruto, having moved when Naruto wasn't paying him any attention. He gripped Naruto's hand and shoved the leaf back on the palm. But his hand didn't let go of Naruto, instead a warmth flowed through it, into Naruto and out the leaf, shaking it until it sat as if glued to his palm.

Naruto felt his chest go _bump_ and them _bump_ again. It thumped loudly in his ears and he grinned before he knew it.

"This is chakra." Iruka-sensei explained, his voice low. It wasn't that high grating noise that people usually used when speaking to him. Naruto peeked up at sensei's face and saw that his eyes were clear, focused on their hands.

Naruto grinned wider.

Iruka-sensei sent the warm _chakra_ through their hands a few more times and persuaded Naruto to try again. Carefully, Naruto tried to push that warmth in his belly that apparently was chakra and not just indigestion like the Matron said, into his hands. It tickled as it moved, the unfamiliar sensation making him giggle. Naruto tried to be gentle like sensei said when he finally succeeded in shoving it into the leaf.

Dismayed, Naruto stared down at it with a disgruntled expression as it promptly shredded itself.

He frowned and bit his tongue. He peeked up at Iruka-sensei, wondering how he would react. Would he be mad that Naruto failed, even though sensei showed him how? Would he curse at him?

Naruto didn't like it when people cursed at him.

Water started gathering in his eyes and he sniffed slightly, trying his best not to cry.

"Don't worry," sensei said and after a pause, reached over and gently patted Naruto on his head.

Naruto's eyes grew wider than they had ever been. He didn't even noticed he had stopped breathing until his chest started to hurt, and then he took a giant breath. Exhilaration filled every inch of him and his own hand moved to the top of his head, where sensei's warm hand had just rested. He patted it himself, but it wasn't nearly as nice.

Iruka-sensei smiled at him and said, "If you keep practicing, I'm sure you can manage it."

Naruto practiced the entire way back to his apartment.

Even while unlocking his door, while warming up the dinner the helper who he never saw had left him in the fridge, even while getting ready for bed, Naruto practiced. He never stopped. Every time a leaf was shredded, Naruto ran outside and gathered every leaf that he could find. He formed a bowl with his shirt and shoved them all in, hurrying back up to his place before he dropped them.

The next morning, as soon as he had eaten his breakfast, Naruto picked up one of the leaves he had left on the floor and got back to practicing. Sensei said that Naruto could do it. Naruto refused — _absolutely refused_ — to disappoint him.

It wasn't until late in the afternoon that Naruto finally stopped shredding the leaves.

"YOSH!" Naruto jumped up from his bed, throwing his hands up in the air. "I did it! he cheered and danced around the room, jumping in the pile of shredded leaves.

Dizzy, he soon started spinning around until he fell on his back. Staring up at the cracked ceiling, he he threw up his hands again and laughed wildly, prouder of himself then he had ever been. An overwhelming feeling of satisfaction curled through him and he — he was going to show Hokage-jiji!

Naruto hurried through the process of getting properly dressed like jiji always nagged at him about. He threw himself out the door, not forgetting to grab a handful of leaves as he went. He bet jiji was going to be _super_ surprised by Naruto's accomplishment! And then, then maybe Naruto could find sensei again and see if he could get another lesson! Naruto whooped loudly at the idea, startling several birds who were nearby.

It wasn't difficult getting into the Hokage Tower, mostly because people didn't really look down in there. They were all carrying so many things they probably couldn't see their feet anyway.

Blowing passed dozens of people and dancing between even more legs, Naruto systemically made his way up the tower, all the way to the top where Hokage-jiji's office was. He waved at the secretary as he passed her, ignoring her scowling at him. He was too excited to be upset about it.

"Jiji!" Naruto bowled through the door and proudly displayed his leaves.

"Look what sensei taught me!"

Hokage-jiji blinked down at him from the other side of the desk, visibly surprised. The other people in the room scowled when they realized who he was, but Naruto didn't care. Jiji finally smiled at him and waved him closer, smiling as he asked, "Taught you what?"

Instead of answering, Naruto ran around the desk and held up the leaves in his fists. Then he realized that he was carrying too many — he could only do one at a time — and let them all go, sans one. The remaining one he held out again in Jiji's direction. He concentrated, his eyebrows furrowing, his tongue jutting out of his mouth as he did his best to direct the warmth, the chakra out through his hand. Obediently, he leaf stayed put, even when Naruto started waving his hand around wildly to show off his success.

"See?!" He bounced on his toes and held out the hand toward jiji again. Pleased, he declared, "I can use chakara!"

"Chakra, Naruto-kun." Hokage-jiji corrected him.

Naruto nodded, distracted by all papers on the desk. He jumped up on his toes and clung to the desk, pulling himself slowly up so that he could see them. Restlessly his eyes rove over them, amazed at how many there were and that jiji hadn't gotten bored of them! And all those squiggly lines that didn't even look like proper drawings...

"What sensei taught you this?"

Naruto mumbled, "Iruka-sensei."

Then he realized what jiji had asked and jumped back down. He wondered where Iruka-sensei was right now. Staring out the window, he determined that it wasn't at all too late to try to find him again. But where would he start looking? Yesterday they met at Teuchi's, so that seemed like the logical first step. And sensei was a sensei, so he would probably be at the academy, right?

Now that the idea was in his head, Naruto found that he didn't want to wait. He had showed Hokage-jiji and now he would show Iruka-sensei!

As quickly as he came, Naruto rushed out the door again.

He ran down the streets as fast as he could, still gripping the leaf in his hands. Even as full speed it took him a while to get there as his legs were so short. Naruto wasn't short! It was only his legs that weren't tall enough. Plenty of legs tried to trip him up as he ran, but Naruto circumvented them with the ease of practice. He thundered down the streets and ran in to Teuchi's ramen place. Pulling to a fullstop, Naruto stared around the place and frowned when he couldn't see the man he was looking for.

He ran up to the counter, climbed a stool and asked, "Where's Iruka-sensei?"

"Naruto-kun!" Teuchi came over and smiled at him. "Iruka-kun hasn't come here today. Did you have fun yesterday?"

Naruto nodded wildly. "Uhuh. Look!" Then he held out his hand and displayed his awesome ninja skills again. He beamed up at Teuchi and loudly announced, "I'm gonna be a ninja!"

Teuchi grinned brightly back at him. "Very cool!"

Naruto grinned down at his hands and gripped the leaf again. It had been hugged so much that it was hardly more than a thread now and as he watched it finally fell apart completely. He smiled to himself and felt a warm feeling pool in his stomach, a lightness to his chest that he didn't recognize. He thought that now Hokgae-jiji would have to teach him more ninja stuff, because Naruto could use chakra now. It would be _awesome_.

He was gonna go on adventures and save princesses and be a hero! And then, and then, he was gonna become the _Hokage_. It would be epic! Everybody would have to see that he wasn't a monster (even though he was pretty sure he was a demon, because otherwise why would everyone call him one) like Hokage-jiji said and he would be respected and have playmates.

He had already planned out all the games he was gonna play with his friends. Hide and seek, obviously, but he was a ninja now, so it was gonna be _ninja_ hide and seek. And tag. They had to play tag. He had played it before with some kids at the playground, but then their parents showed up and pulled them away. The next time he wanted to play with them, they had run away screaming. Naruto didn't understand it, but he knew that tag had been fun and he wanted to play it again.

Sometimes he saw kids playing ninja in the playgrounds. He wanted to play that too, but it was going to be even better because he was gonna be an _actual ninja_.

"Yosh!" Naruto yelled and pumped his fist. "I'm gonna find Iruka-sensei."

"Eh? But I've just made your favorite ramen." Teuchi protested and put a steaming bowl of ramen in front of Naruto.

Naruto announced, "I'm gonna find Iruka-sensei after eating ramen!"

Naruto followed his own words to the letter, because proper ninjas don't break promises according to jiji. As soon as he had finished his meal of four bowls of hot ramen, he ran away to find Iruka-sensei again.

After scurrying over almost the entire town, Naruto finally, he found Iruka-sensei at the training ground they were at yesterday. Naruto whooped in joy and ran forward, hurrying before sensei could leave. As soon as he was close enough, he took a giant leap and clung onto Iruka-sensei's waist. He cheered loudly and exclaimed, "Sensei, sensei, I found you!"

Iruka-sensei looked down at him. After a second's hesitation, he smiled slightly and said, "You did."

Naruto ignored Iruka-sensei's inexplicable slowness in reacting to him and instead focused on what was really important. Like Naruto's success. He let go of sensei and fell back down on his feet and stumbled slightly. Once he regained his amazing sense of balance, he took out the stem of the leaf (all that was left of it at this point) and showed it proudly to Iruka-sensei. He grinned up at the old man and waited for sensei to respond to him.

"It's broken." Iruka-sensei stated.

Naruto looked at it and conceded. He picked up another leaf from the ground, held it up and concentrated fiercely. His tongue stuck out of his mouth and his eyes narrowed as he stared intently down at the new leaf. He wasn't sure if he trusted this leaf. The last leaf had really stepped up to the task, but this was a new one. One that hadn't auditioned. (Naruto didn't know what auditioned meant, but it sounded cool when that band down the street held them. He was very sad when he didn't get to do it because he was too young.) Regardless, he decided to put his fate into the hands of this brave new recruit.

His chakra flowed into the leaf and slowly but surely, it lifted off his palm and started spinning. Naruto had counted to fifteen (he was very good at counting, though he didn't know what came between eleven and fifteen, jiji hadn't explained it well) by the time the leaf was shredded into a million little pieces that floated gently to the ground.

"Leaf!" Naruto sniffled. "You have done your duty well. Your sacrifice will be remembered!"

Iruka-sensei sighed.

"There, there." Slowly, Iruka-sensei patted Naruto-s head again.

All at once, Naruto burst into tears.

He didn't understand why. All he knew was that Iruka-sensei had patted his head to days in a row, something no other person had ever done in his life before, because Hokage-jiji was busy and Naruto couldn't see him often. It was very rare that he wasn't just politely thrown out the door when he barged in like he did earlier. And usually, when he found nice people that would play with him and came back the next day to continue, they would have changed entirely.

Suddenly they were no longer nice people. Suddenly they yelled at him and threw stuff and were _mean_. And Naruto had _hoped_ that sensei was different, because he was a teacher and a ninja and Naruto hadn't met such people often, but he hadn't really expected it.

But Iruka-sensei was nice again! He even started ruffling Naruto's hair when Naruto couldn't stop crying and really, it was decided. From this moment on, Iruka-sensei was Naruto's friend. Nothing could change this fact. They were going to go on picnic's and play games and maybe, maybe Iruka-sensei would come over for his birthday and they could have a birthday party. Hokage-jiji had only come once, and that was this year when Naruto turned... well he couldn't remember because it was _so long ago,_ but he knew that jiji didn't usually have time to come. He only came last time because it was Naruto's first birthday in his new apartment.

"Come on, let's keep practicing." Iruka-sensei said and ruffled Naruto's hair one last time.

Naruto grinned brightly, happiness curling in his chest and pumped his fist. "Yosh! I'm gonna be a ninja, dattebayo!"


End file.
